


Straight through the daylight

by SugarcoatedBrain



Series: A Marvellous Christmas [4]
Category: British Actor RPF, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Real Person Fiction, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), tom holland - Fandom
Genre: Actor Tom Holland, Actors, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Crush at First Sight, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Harrison Osterfield - Freeform, MCU cast - Freeform, Male-Female Friendship, Marvel Cinematic Universe - Freeform, Secret Crush, Tom Holland Needs a Hug, marvel cinematic universe cast, mcu - Freeform, mcu actor, mcu actors - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-06-26 00:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19757275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarcoatedBrain/pseuds/SugarcoatedBrain
Summary: "I've known you for six years now, I didn't think there was anything you could do that'd surprise me anymore but here you go.."Jo has crushed on a guy for almost half of her life. Too bad he's her best friend. Too bad also that half the planet crushes on him as well.





	1. The Perks of Being a Wallflower

It would have been easier to just admit she had a crush on the guy, she thought. It would have been less expensive and maybe her parents wouldn't look at her like she was some kind of weird creature. Her dad kept bothering her about it and her big brother, William, couldn't stop pestering her about the boy. Because it was all down to this, at the end. She did ask for those tickets for this boy. She did ask to see the musical for this boy. Nobody knew, of course, except for William who was a giant pain in her behind and stole the key to her diary. But really, it would've been easier than to sit there, in this theatre, wearing a purple dress and her blonde hair having been styled in a weird up-do, wearing transparent, peach scented lip gloss and trying to be both invisible and the only thing you can see. William couldn't stop fidgeting in his seat, obviously mentally cursing his little sister because he'd rather have stayed home but nonetheless, she was quite happy to be there. Both happy and uncomfortable as hell. But happy.

The musical had been great and the object of her coming there had been exceptional on stage. His dance moves were on point, his acting was incredible but what definitely won her over was his singing. Never had she heard a boy sing that way, like he was unapologetic, careless and completely sure of himself. She was pretty sure she would never get over it, at that time. She never really understood why nobody at school wanted to talk about it, like they all made a pact to ignore the fact that one of the guys from the school down the street was being incredibly successful and a general talented guy. According to William, he was far from being popular at their all-boys school and he was actually getting picked up on more and more because of his successful stay on West End. She tried to ask him if maybe he and his friends could ask the others to stop but all he did was scoff and say "yeah, in your dreams". William was nice but he was one of the popular guys at their school and he was no knight in shining armour. There was so much he was willing to do, even for his little sister.

Sitting here, in this theatre, felt like she was really encountering the boy for the first time. First time she saw him, she was ten and he had been playing with one of his friends in the park between their two schools. She was supposed to wait for William to pick her up but he was incredibly late, and of course she found him in the park, playing footie with his pals. She was pissed off, to say the least, and could have teared up a little when she saw him there, playing like he couldn't care less of her. There she was, waiting for him, and he was too busy playing football to care. For the first time, she realised that William was not just her big brother, that he was his own person and that William and her were no longer a package deal. She had been scared, waiting for him to arrive, being the last one to be picked up, and there he was, laughing and playing. She was so mad at him and so disappointed, she felt insignificant and not worthy of his attention. She had always admired William, so it stung way harder than she'd care to admit. The boy in question saw her waiting there, on the entry path of the park and walked up to her, asking if she was okay. She just answered that she was waiting for her big brother and that he was supposed to pick her up from school but he forgot and now she didn't know what to do, whether she was supposed to wait for him or go to him. She started shaking a little bit because of how upset she was and the boy gave her some of his candies before asking who her brother was. When he realised that she meant William, _this_ William, he put on his big boy pants and went to see the guy, to point him his little sister who was waiting for him. He was nervous, because William was kind of one of the most popular guys in their school and he wasn't sure if he was worthy of his time. School could be a little bit of a monarchy sometimes and William definitely belonged with the royals. Him? He was merely a peasant. When William looked in the direction the boy was pointing, he got mortified, both because he realised that he forgot to pick up his little sister and because it was a younger boy who reminded him about it in front of his friends. He quickly apologised to his pals and ran to her, quickly taking her schoolbag from her shoulders and apologising profusely. It was the first time William was considered big enough to pick her up from school and if their parents knew, he'd disappoint them and lose the big boy card for a little while. When they came back home, he made her a snack, promised it would never happen again and indeed, it had never happened again. William was punctual, though sometimes grumpy, but he was there to pick her up from school and after he realised how tired she could be to walk all the way from school to their house, he'd attached a rear rack on his shining bike to let her sit on during their ride home. Sometimes they'd stay a little in the park for William to play with his pals. His sister would just wait for him, starting on her homework and snacking on whatever he'd have packed for her in the morning. William was a good big brother but he was just that too: a big brother. And apparently, big brothers liked to pick on their little sisters. Which is why he had been moaning about this theatre outing ever since he found out and he started growing suspicious about the real reason why they were watching a guy doing ballet, for Christ's sake. William could be a little bit oblivious sometimes, because he cared more about his friends than the life of her little sister. But because he still cared enough about her, he snatched the key of her secret diary and opened it without any guilty feeling. That's when he realised that the little boy who had reminded him the existence of his little sister had made quite an impression on her and she could have been crushing on him. After his discovery, William couldn't stop snickering when he'd catch her looking at him in the park but he never really made fun of her or at least, never directly. He didn't speak about it to anyone, which was a relief to her and he never implied anything. William was great that way: he was the best at keeping secrets.

After the musical ended, William was ready to go back home but his sister didn't really plan it that way. She had talked to her mother earlier during the week, asking if it'd be possible to wait at stage door a little so she could ask for autographs. Her mother had agreed because there wasn't much she refused to her daughter and that's how William ended up in the street by stage door, waiting for his sister to get her program signed so they could "bloody get back home, jeez!".

She was ready for it or so she thought. She would see him, be all cool and say hi. She had practiced it in the mirror. She knew what she wanted to say, she had rehearsed to make sure she'd look okay and she was sure of the outcome. There was no chance to mess that up having rehearsed that much. Except she hadn't been expecting the boy in question to go out with his own parents, much like she was. When she had seen him open the stage door, she felt her stomach do a little somersault and her fingers started tingling, for whatever reason. Knowing her whole family was watching her and there was no backing off of this, she timidly walked to the boy and presented her program, which he gently took and asked his dad for a pen. When he finally made eye contact with her, he stopped in his tracks and couldn't form any coherent sentence for God's sake. Thank the Lord, his parents were chatting with some other adults closer to the door than to them. He wouldn't hear the end of it, otherwise.

"Hey, you're.. You're William's little sister, right?"

"Yeah", she answered, timidly, fidgeting with her fingers.

"I see you sometimes in the park, you're always doing your homework while he plays football", he stuttered.

She nodded, not really sure what to do else. This wasn't the conversation she was planning on and hoping for. After all, when you're crushing on a boy, you're not really expecting him to talk about your big brother, aren't you?

"How did you like the show?" he ended up asking after they both had danced on their feet for thirty seconds in an awkward silence.

"Oh it was.. It was great. ... You were great", she blushed.

"Thanks."

By now, they were both looking like little tomatoes. Being twelve and having a crush? Not the most comfortable time of your life, for sure.

"So I guess I'll see you around at the park?" he shyly asked, not really sure what to say anymore.

"Sure. I don't know when William will want to play though, so.."

"It's okay. I'm there every day. ... I'm Tom", he introduced himself.

"Nice to meet you, Tom. I'm Jo."

"Well Jo, I have to go", he grimaced looking back to his parents who were now waiting for him, respectfully keeping their distance, just like hers were. "I hope I'll see you soon."

"Bye Tom."

And because there was nothing going on exactly as she had planned to, Tom quickly hugged her before he walked away to his parents, trying really hard not to take a look back to her and her puzzled face.

Needless to say, William never really stopped making fun of them for this.


	2. Now And Then

After that meeting at the stage door, it was useless to say that Jo went back to see _Billy Elliot_ a couple of times (or more like thirty times because Tom invited her and she never paid her ticket anymore). She would stay with his parents, that her own parents had met beforehand and they agreed that Jo would be safe enough with them. They would pick her up at the same time as Tom if he went to school that day (sometimes, he was too busy with rehearsals to even go to school) and they would drive directly to the theatre. If Tom didn't go to school that day, his parents would pick her up with Tom's little brothers and they would drop her at the theatre with his mom. She would always get his homework and the lessons he had missed from his best friend Harrison and they would go over them together, Jo patiently explaining math, science or anything that was close to grammar, spelling or anything like that. She quickly understood that Tom wasn't like her when it came to letters, to words, to reading. He would mix some letters up, he would have trouble to read, he would get stuck on certain words and get frustrated when the text was printed too small. Once, she asked Tom's mom when they were walking to the theatre, why he was in such trouble with words and she explained him that Tom wasn't like others, that he had something a bit wrong in his head, like two wires that wouldn't properly connect, and that the fact that they didn't connect right was called dyslexia. Nothing to worry about, he just needed more time and it demanded him more efforts to get to the same point as her. So because she realised how frustrated Tom would get when it'd come to spelling and reading, she stopped talking about it completely. They would sit on stage to do their homework and she would use marbles to do math with him. When they started coming up to equations, soon enough, Tom became the one helping her with math because she was more into words and he was more into numbers, by default. When they were old enough, Tom would tutor Jo in math and physics and Jo would tutor Tom in English and French. By the time they were 14, both of them were good at school and had found a balance between school, their afternoons at the theatre and their time at each other's place or at the park. Jo met Tom's best friend, Harrison, and soon enough, the three of them were inseparable. Where there was Harrison, there was Tom and where there was Tom, there was Jo. The only time they wouldn't be together would be at school as they attended different schools.

Jo was there when Tom filmed the documentary of the fifth anniversary of Billy Elliot the Musical. She was there also for the night they celebrated that said anniversary with Sir Elton John (that Tom introduced her and Harrison to, even though he was quite sure he wasn't supposed to and that Sir Elton John would forget about the three of them the day after). It made Jo's night and it was all he could hope for, for that she'd been so helpful with school matters and for the fact that she quickly became one of his closest friends. When Tom got his first cellphone, the first people he told about was Harrison and Jo. So when Jo got hers a few months later, on her birthday, the first number she texted was Tom's. They'd spend a lot of their phone credits on texting each other, to the point of sometimes, their parents would be pissed at the phone bills. They'd hang in the backstage of the theatre, they'd run on stage and play hide and seek like five year olds and they'd pretend to be superstars whenever no one would be looking. Tom had tried getting Jo to sing for real but she would have rather died than to sing on stage next to him, when he sang that well. Eventually, he started teaching her how to dance and he would make her do backflips by holding her and flipping her between his arms. There was a definite and genuine bond that appeared between them, at the surprise of their parents. Tom was sweet and he definitely had a rough time at school. Jo would sometimes get him back in the park with bruises on his cheeks and she'd ball her fists so hard she'd hurt the palms of her hands with her nails. She would have punched some assholes if she was big enough, but between the two of them, Tom and Jo weren't the tallest kids of the block. Harrison was a bit taller but he had no idea how to fight and last time he threw a punch, he broke his pinky so he had learned to take the blows and moan afterwards.

For two years, Jo would spend at least two afternoons per month at the theatre. Those afternoons were the highlights of her months, for that she'd spend time with Tom on their own, as Harrison never came at the same time than her. They would play, they would laugh, they would talk and they would bond and Jo was absolutely ecstatic to be Tom's friend. Sure, Tom was a dork and he wasn't the most popular guy around, but he was her friend and she didn't have many, so she held him dear and never wanted to let him go. And of course, sometimes, she'd be pissed at him but they never got angry at each other for more than two days and they'd apologise pretty quick over text messages or MSN (which still existed at that time, yes, and they both had pretty dumb contact infos if you ask them).

Jo was there on a lot of occasions. She was there when he was featured on ITV1. She was there when they announced him he would trained five other guys to a dance routine. She was there to watch him play Billy and she was there to watch him play Michael. She was there when he got sick and couldn't play for several weeks. She was there when he lost his voice for the first time and got terrorised at the fact he might never be able to sing again. She was there when he auditioned to dub an animated movie's character and she was there when he got the call that he had been casted. She was there when all he could talk about was Megan who was one of the Debbies in the show and who Tom was crushing hard on. Jo was there when a Michael dared him to make out with her and when another Debbie dared Megan to make out with him. She was there a few days later, when Tom excitedly told her that he, indeed, had made out with Megan and that they both had been super awkward after that. She was there and felt the relief when, whenever they'd cross Megan's path, Tom would turn to her and pretend like Megan didn't exist and vice-versa. Tom and Megan never dated. They never shared anything apart that quick kiss but to know that it was Tom's first kiss broke Jo's heart a little, though she'd never admit it, of course.

But most importantly, Jo was there when, on May 29th of 2010, Tom bowed as Billy Elliot for the last time of his life, swallowing his tears and pretending that he was completely fine with it. She wasn't there at stage door, after the show, though, for the simple reason that she escaped the audience right after he disappeared and ran to the backstage door, where she was left to pass through thanks to the pass she was always sporting around her neck. When she finally found Tom back, he was sobbing, sitting on a wheeled box of supplies for the show and she quickly hopped on it to put her arm around his shoulder. Their theatre fun was over, but she was certain there would be even more fun later, in other theatres, maybe.

Jo wasn't expecting that one day, Tom would excitedly yell at her in the park that he had an audition to play in a movie. She helped him learn his lines with Harrison, both of them reading the other characters' lines and they accompanied him at the audition, both stressing like fools and biting their nails. When Tom got out of the room, he didn't know whether or not he was casted but a few weeks later, Jo and Harrison were the first to know, through a webcam chat that they had just figured out how to share between three users, that Tom would fly to Spain and Thailand to film alongside Naomi Watts and Ewan McGregor.

Even William was impressed and asked Tom if possibly maybe he could bring him back an autograph from Obi-Wan Kenobi. Of course, Tom did send him an autograph, alongside one of his postal cards that he'd often send Jo. They usually were short but sometimes, they'd come with an SD card full of pictures of Thailand and of the cast. Jo lived the experience of a movie shooting through Tom, who was never sparing with information and praise towards his castmates. Sometimes, she would pretend to sleep and lie in her bed, in the dark, hidden beneath her covers, only to wait for an ungodly hour to be able to chat with Tom through Skype. He'd show her the view from his hotel room and would talk about the movie and they'd hang up when Tom would insist she'd go back to bed when he'd see how many times in a minute she would yawn.

Jo was there at the airport with Harrison, when Tom finally came back to London. Both Harrison and her had ran to him and hugged him tight when they'd see him at the terminal. They had let him rest a little, readapt to the British time and then, they'd crash at Tom's place for a much awaited sleepover, where Tom had explained and shared every memory of the movie he would remember. Jo was invited to the press event and press junket they did to promote the movie. She was also invited at the London premiere, where Tom introduced William to Ewan McGregor and where the two made fun of William for blanking so hard at the Scottish actor. She'd been invited, a few months later, when Tom shot the movie _How I Live Now_ , which kind of left her puzzled because the story was definitely weird. And she cried when Tom's character died.

Jo was there when Tom got his first girlfriend. She'd cried hours and hours about it, in the secrecy of her bedroom. William would snicker at her sometimes, telling her to stop wailing like a widow but really, he felt sorry for her. He thought maybe, becoming such close friend with Tom would make her move on from her crush, but it just made it ten times worse. Tom's girlfriend wasn't the nicest around, or she wasn't nice towards Jo, at least. She was fine with Harrison, who found her lovely (of course, she was rather cute) but she didn't like the idea of Tom spending time with Jo and she was never really happy whenever he'd brought Jo into a conversation. God forbid the birthday party, where Tom invited Jo (because he wouldn't have not invited her) and where his girlfriend pouted for most of the afternoon because Jo was there and because Harrison was mostly chatting with Jo and not her. You'd think having Tom was enough, but apparently not. Or maybe she did feel threatened a bit by Jo, which the girl didn't quite understand.

She had grown up with Tom. From the awkward blondie that met him at stage door, Jo started to open up a little bit more. Tom saw her grow (a little), he saw her tiny frame starting getting some shapes and he saw her blonde locks (which he loved, by the way), turned into brown lengths (which really didn't bother him that much, because he thought she looked cute anyway). He saw her getting her ears pierced for the second time. He saw her getting braces and they suffered together about it. He heard the change in her voice and she did for his too. He saw her growing more and more interested in music. He listened to her playlists for hours whenever she'd send him one. He lent her his iPod that she'd fill with illegally downloaded songs. And though he loved her very much, he had to admit that Jo wasn't the standard of top model: she didn't have long legs, for she was rather short, she didn't have dimples like his current girlfriend, her haircut wasn't that cute and her taste in clothes, at that time, was pretty questionable. She didn't wear makeup because her mother wouldn't let her to, apart from the occasional peach scented lip gloss and she still had her braces when his had popped out of his mouth a long time ago. Still, both Harrison and him wouldn't trade Jo for the world and that's how, after a very heinous fight, Tom let go of his girlfriend who dared calling Jo a bitch. Jo tried to explain to him that she wasn't mad, that she understood where the girl came from, that she got the jealousy and the mistrust but Tom wouldn't hear it. Jo was his number one girl and would always be (after his mom, that's all).

In their years of friendship, they'd seen each other do stupid stuff: Jo watched Tom do backflips in his garden and other gymnastic prowess, she also watched him film dumb Vines on his phone and try himself at Musical.ly. She would post Instagram pictures, though, because hanging out at Tom's house either meant listening to his dad making dad joke after dad joke or trying to understand how his mum would take amazing shots. And because Jo was keen on collecting memories, she'd stick with his mum more than his dad, which meant that at one Christmas, Tom offered her her first Polaroid camera, an oldie his mum didn't want anymore and that he bought from her for barely a hundred of pounds. It's not like he couldn't afford it, anyway, and he liked the retro feeling that those squared pictures could bring. She was fifteen when Tom came to her house on the morning before Christmas and lifted the package to her face. They locked themselves in her bedroom and when she tore the paper apart, her eyes were sparkling like Tom had never seen them sparkle before. She was way too happy to contain herself and she launched herself into Tom's chest, hanging herself at his neck and squeezing him with all the strength she had (which wasn't much, if Tom was honest). She got on a loop of excited "ohemgee thankyouthankyouthankyou"'s and ended taking a _lot_ of pictures. Tom discovered, on their 15th Christmas, that his best friend might be a tad nuts. But then again, he already suspected it.

For birthdays and Christmases after that, Tom always made sure to have at least two presents: one that he had chosen for her (and he would always be spot on) and a pack of films for her camera. The first one to be developed would always be a selfie of them both, that they'd sign and date to keep track of their friendship. The selfie usually ended up on Jo's wall, among thousands of others. She did tend to take a lot of those. Those Polaroids at least proved one thing: they were both extremely thankful for puberty. Tom's jawline sharpened, his face became the face of an adult and his hair grew a little more in those crazy curls that Jo loved so much. Jo, herself, saw her legs thinning and her waist slimming. Her brown hair started to be less and less fuzzy because she discovered conditioner and her face cleared out. Her braces finally disappeared, letting Tom finally pick the thing she loved the most about her and it was her grinning smile. Her oval face thinned out as well, loosing the baby cheeks she hated so much and she finally got into makeup and fashion. Tom and Harrison would both love it when she'd wear lipstick, as she'd kiss their cheeks just to mess with them and they'd sport big kissing marks on their cheeks like idiots. But it was okay. They were Jo's idiots, anyway. If there was one thing that never changed, it was Jo's nickname: she never would let them call her by her real name and Jo was the only name she'd answer to. Because no, Jo wasn't her first name, as badass Harrison had thought it was when Tom first told him about that girl who asked him for his autograph, five or six years ago.

During his filming with Chris Hemsworth, though, Tom saw a spot opening to himself to a Marvel audition. Because he was a massive Marvel fan (he took Jo and Harrison to a screening of the Avengers and they all loved it so much that they'd go to the first screening possible of any Marvel movie to come after that), he decided to audition and went for a short trip to the US, like he had already done before to sign his contract for _The Impossible_. The three of them were all so excited that they helped Tom film his self-tapes and helped him learn some lines, whenever they'd let him have lines to rehearse. The whole casting audition was so secret that it took weeks for Tom to realise what he really was auditioning for. And when he learned, he was unstoppable.

Because, see, Tom was a huge Spider-Man nerd. Jo had seen his Spider-Man bed sheets. She had seen the Spider-Man merch, the backpack, the notebooks, the freaking pencils, the lunch box for Christ's sake. She knew how much Tom loved the superhero. She had napped in the freaking Spider-Man bed sheets, the things being so old that they had started to pill and fuzz, scattering the fabric with tiny little lint bubbles that made it a bit scratchy. She'd been sick in those bedsheets, at age 18, Tom letting her sleep when he'd notice she was feeling a bit weird and then realising, during her nap, that she was abnormally red in the face. When he had put his hand on her forehead, she was burning hot and he had called her mum with his phone right after. She was so sick that she didn't even wake up when he gently shook her and he had to lift her in his arms to bring her down to her mum's car. He made sure she was secure with the seat belt and had asked her mum to please call him to update him on her condition. All she had was a cold but that incident made him weary and particularly protective of Jo. The both of them would protect each other, in the end. So that's why Jo cried when Tom called her to let her know that he was auditioning for Spider-Man. Because she knew how much it'd mean to Tom and she was so happy and damn proud of her best friend. When Tom called her ten months later, screaming monosyllables, she already knew. She had seen the Instagram post and had opened the website shortly before him. She had been shaking ever since she had seen it.

Her world had just shaken once more: Tom was apart of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. She cried herself to sleep that night, both out of pure happiness and out of complete terror. Tom was going to get very famous, very quickly. Soon enough, he'd be filming in the United States, away from her, away from their friendship and she would become a distant girl in his life. Even though he'd never said it properly, Jo knew she was Tom's girl. She was his as much as he was hers. They belonged to each other and they belonged together, or so she'd thought until then. Tom had just turned nineteen and she was eighteen. They'd known each other for six years now and had always (or almost) lived together. Tom was the only guy who ever saw her bras, when he'd come to her bedroom and she'd forgot to pick them up. He'd put his head on her lap. He'd messed with her hair like William had always done and he was the closest friend she'd ever had. That left her with that big daunting question that would haunt her for nights, keeping her awake at four in the morning and that made her cry more than she'd admit.

What would happen now?


	3. Miss You Already

After a few weeks, the news kind of sunk in that Jo's best friend was now a big hit actor. If Jo was stressed out, she never told him anything, because Tom's life was about to change as well and he couldn't just enjoy it if she let him know how distressed she was over it. Though she didn't have to say anything, because Tom knew how to recognise some details on her face, in her behaviour, that let him think that maybe she needed for the both of them to talk about it a lot. So Tom decided, just after talking with his father about it, that he would have to sit down with Jo and Harrison to talk about it as well. In Tom's head, it was clear that he would have to start to Jo, because Harrison knew that being an actor meant having to do some sacrifices and he was tougher than she was. Jo was this girl who always felt more than she was supposed to, who'd overthink everything and he wanted to put an end to her possible misery. He could see it in the way her eyes had dulled down, in the way that the corners of her mouth never went as high as they used to and kept trembling, like it was an incredible amount of effort to smile at him, in the sound of her laugh that was a bit forced, in the way she would twist her fingers around each other, like she was trying to anchoring herself to an invisible point.

So Tom invited her to his place one afternoon, a few days after that phone call that changed everything. He had made some cookies and was boiling water for cups of tea when Jo arrived at his house. She didn't even ring the bell anymore: Tom had given her the passcode a few years ago and she only had to knock at the front door. As always, Tom greeted her with a high five and they made a beeline to the kitchen, where the kettle was starting to whistle and two cups were waiting on the table. They fixed themselves a cup each, dropped the teabags into the ceramic and climbed the stairs to Tom's bedroom, where his dog was sleeping on his bed.

"C'mon Tessa, you know you're not supposed to be up here, get down", he moaned.

But as always with Tessa, she won and Tom sat on the carpet next to his bed. Because his resilience and authority on Tessa was close to none, she would always melt his heart and then he'd give up. Sitting in front of each other, they awkwardly sipped on their teas like two grandmas before Tom sighed and declared they were being idiots.

"C'mon Jo, I'm still me. It's just my job that's changing!"

"I know, I know. It's just that.. Marvel's big. It's really big. And you're gonna be gone for months at a time while I'll be studying in uni like the no-life that I am."

"You've always said you wanted to go to uni, that's not fair, Jo. I've always wanted to make it to America and now that I do, you're making it ten times harder."

"I know", she sighed. "I'm really happy for you, though and you know that. I'm so proud and you deserve it so much."

"But.."

"But selfishly, all I can think about is how you're gonna move on from me and find yourself some amazing friends that really don't compare to me and I'll be on my own while you'll be living your best life out there."

Tom sighed, gulping the rest of his tea down. She had valid feelings and he knew how insecure she could be. It really wasn't that much of a surprise that she'd feel that way. Especially when she knew he was about to bring Harrison with him, because they were inseparable. Jo'd always known that Harrison was Tom's "main best friend" and that she was secondary. He had brought Harrison to countless of events and they had travelled together a few times before, when Jo hadn't been invited. Tom didn't realise that though, that he was making her feel very self-conscious and that sometimes, he wasn't being fair. But Jo was never really mad at him, because it's difficult to be mad at someone that you love so much.

"Let's make a deal, here and there. I promise that I will never, _ever_ , move on from you. Because you're my best friend, you're part of my family, and I would never be able to imagine my life without you. But promise me that if one day, you feel like we're growing apart, you'll let me know. You won't tiptoe around the matter and not tell me shit to not hurt my feelings or whatever. Promise me you'll always be the most honest and sincere person in my life."

"I promise", she had muttered, looking at the bottom of her cup.

"That doesn't count if you don't look in my eyes. Promise me, Jo. I need that little bit of ground knowledge that we'll always have each other's backs."

"I'll always have your back, Tom", she swore.

"Great. Now let's stop with this non-sense, I hate being awkward with you."

"Same," she smiled. "So tell me everything. What's your first movie? Are you gonna get a Spider-Man movie?"

"So far, I'm gonna make my debut in the new Captain America and they're talking about a contract involving three stand-alone movies."

"Holy shit.."

"I know!!" Tom yelled suddenly. "Like.. I'm really gonna be Spider-Man!"

"And you're gonna play with Chris Evans. In a Captain America movie."

"Damn you and your massive crush on Cap," Tom moaned, leaning backward to lie on his back. "I'm freaking Spider-Man and you're still crushing on Cap."

There was no chance Jo would have jumped into the open invitation that Tom just threw out. What could have she said? "Oh, about that.. You're gonna laugh, but I've been pining about you for the past six years. Funny, heh?"

No way. Instead, she laughed with that fake laugh that Tom knew by heart and that he hated more than anything. He knew that she was forcing herself and he knew that he never wanted her to be anything but herself. Jo was already his best friend, she didn't need to feel any other way just to please him or whatever.

"You have to send me pictures," Jo suddenly declared.

"Of course, I will," Tom rolled his eyes up. "Like I wouldn't.."

"And you'd better introduce me to the cast at some point. I want a picture with Chris Evans and one with Sebastian Stan."

"Demanding.. Okay, deal."

"Not that demanding. If I was, I'd tell you I want to see the sets."

Tom giggled like a pre-schooler. He shook his head and raised his hand on his bed for Tessa to lie her head into. Scratching gently her nose, he sighed, not really knowing where to lead the conversation after that.

"Are you excited or freaking terrified?" Jo suddenly asked.

"Both," he admitted. "I can't wait to start but also.. I can wait all the time in the world. There's something about this moment, about the wait before I start, that makes it both incredibly cool and at the same time, completely and utterly tetanising. What if I screw this up?" he wondered.

"You won't. ... Tom, seriously, you won't! You're this phenomenal actor and you have gym training, this role is yours!"

"Yeah, but what if I'm not good enough?"

"Just trust them. They chose you among several others. They make spectacular movies, they wouldn't have chosen you if they didn't think you were great enough. They wouldn't be talking about stand-alone movies either if they thought you were a tool."

Tom nodded from the carpet. Jo knew him by heart, by now. She knew that he would overthink about it until he'd get cold feet and would need a serious wake up call. So she decided that she would deliver it right now and end his cycle once and for all.

"Tom, you've waited your whole life for this, for a superhero movie, and you got your favourite. Don't mess this up by thinking you're not what they need. It's what they deserve. It's what _you_ deserve. You're gonna be the best Peter Parker there is, because you love this character with your whole heart and your whole soul, you're gonna put all your magic in him, you're gonna make him the best nerd around, the funniest dork there is and you're gonna live it up to become the best Spidey the world has ever seen. I trust you. I believe in you, Tom."

Tom could have teared up a little, hearing her say those words. She had never spared a compliment or a pep talk and she always would reassure him about her thoughts on his work but she rarely said that she believed in him. There was this fog about their feelings that both left them a bit puzzled at times, but they wouldn't change it, at least not for now. Now, their friendship was strong, it was beautiful, it was a magic bond that really couldn't compare to anything else. Talking about feelings would mean taking it to another level to make it even more fusional or to mess it up completely. They weren't ready to risk it all. Not yet, anyway.

Not saying another word, Jo dragged herself next to Tom and lied down at his right, bumping his shoulder with hers.

"You might want to go to the gym a little bit more, though," she teased him.

"Are you saying I'm not muscular enough?"

"I'm saying you probably are going to have shirtless scenes and you might want to get ripped for those."

"Damn, you're right."

"I always am, though.."

"I know!" he exclaimed. "Jeez, you might be the wisest person I know.."

Jo shrugged, making him shrug involuntarily. It's true that she always provided good advices for she also was known for the crazy spark behind her eyes that could let her go insane in matters of seconds.

"Know what I wanna do?"

"No idea.."

"Remember when you used to make me do flips by holding me and flipping my legs up?"

"Yep, that was damn fun!"

"Let's do it again!"

Jo didn't have to ask it twice. Tom got up, showed her his hand and helped her to stand and off they went to the giant gym mat that invaded the Holland's backyard. For an hour or so, they fooled around, Tom holding Jo by the hips before she climbed on his back and it turned into a full on catch and tickles session. It took Tom's mum to break them two as they were yelling in the backyard like two kids for them to finally stop.

Jo didn't know at that time that it was probably the last time they'd be so careless and kid-looking. She didn't know that it was the last time she'd play with her best friend like a child because everything was going to change.


	4. What If

Shooting Captain America had been quick. A month after his departure, Tom was back on British soil, at least for a few weeks before he'd have to start promoting the movie, though his character being a background type of characters meant that he didn't have to do a lot of press junkets and television interviews. Because she knew Tom wasn't going to be home for long, Jo threw him a party with Harrison, inviting all the friends they had (which wasn't a ton because they definitely weren't the popular type before Tom became famous) and drank a fair load of beer. Harrison was passed out drunk by the end of the night and Jo was close to follow before Tom cut her off vodka and Orangina. He and Harrison had handled her booze and drinks the whole night, making her her drinks because they knew that it was her first drinking party and they didn't want her to be massively hangover for her first time. Harrison was a good drinking buddy, making her drink water every two drinks and Tom was constantly putting food into her hands, without saying anything. It looked so innocent to everyone else but Harrison; he would simply walk to her, engage in her conversation with whomever and would show her what he had in hands so she'd grab a portion as well and nibble on it. So far, they had done a magnificent job and they were quite proud of themselves until Harrison lost count of his drinks and then completely stopped counting Jo's. Tom was the last one Jo could rely on and ever since he found out Harrison was out, he had stopped drinking all together, sipping on Coke and eating crackers. Tom wasn't an idiot, he knew that he handled his booze way better than her, as it was her first time and adding to that the fact that she was tiny didn't help at all. At one point, she disappeared from his field of vision and when he realised it, he nearly panicked. He found her back on the patio of Harrison's house, sitting criss-cross applesauce on the table, doing shots with a guy Tom barely recognised. Horrified that he let her get into this situation, he quickly (but gently) took her ankles and dragged her to the end of the table where he helped her put her legs down and stand up correctly.

"Why did you took me away?" Jo moaned. "It was fun!"

"Yeah, I know, but you were alone with a guy doing shots and you're already very drunk so I don't want you to get yourself into tricky situations," Tom explained.

"I was fine," she rolled her eyes up.

"Yeah sure and my grandma smokes weed on the weekends."

"Does she?!" Jo exclaimed.

"Of course not, dummy!"

"Tom, you're lame," she cried out.

"Fine, then dance with me!"

"You know I don't know how to dance," she grumbled.

"Then I'll help you out, easy peasy!"

Jo rolled her eyes to the sky once again but agreed, the two of them staying on the patio while everyone was in the house, dancing like crazy animals. The music was so loud that Tom kept wincing as his ears became more and more sensible with the alcohol in his blood. They made sure that they were in the middle of the patio so that they wouldn't trip onto any furniture and Tom grinned as he put his hands on her hips.

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course," she mumbled.

"Then don't be so tense," he laughed. "C'mon, you know I won't laugh at you!"

"Easy to say, _Billy Eliott_ ," she scoffed.

"Low blow, Jo, low blow.."

"Okay fine, what do I do?"

"Just follow me!"

Tom started swaying his hips, forcing her, with his hands, to reproduce the same moves. The music wasn't very nice, it was one of those songs that overdid it on the bass line and the lyrics weren't even subtle. The song was full on about sex and if Tom didn't have his hands on her hips and if she wasn't so drunk and out of her comfort zone already, she might have laughed at it. But she didn't because Tom was guiding her hips and his were dangerously close to hers, so she needed to not be a fool and not do anything completely moronic. Focus was the key. Or at least, that's what she aimed for but the edge of her field of vision were blurry as hell and the rest felt cottony and sticky and basically she was a hot mess.

"Okay, now that you have the rhythm, just sway a little," he explained her.

"Like this?"

"Not quite," he laughed a little. "Okay, let me show you."

Letting go of hr hips for a couple of seconds, he quickly made his way behind her to help her out. Gently taking hold of her hips once again, he stuck his chest to her back and made her rotate her hips correctly. When he felt like she was doing good on her own, he let her go once again so he could face her once again. At this point, they were so close that they had forgotten how to breathe and kept dosing off of the party that was held in the house. They were on their own on this patio, with only a window open to let the music pass through but the fact that nobody was there to bother them and their drunk states added to that made it pretty tense quite rapidly.

Not really knowing what to do with her arms (Tom didn't mention it and he had been rather focused on the bottom part of her body), it took him several steps to grab her wrists and gently slide them around his neck.

"This is weird," she breathed out.

"I quite enjoy it, actually," he smiled. "We should do that more often."

"True. I must look like a penguin," she moaned, crashing her forehead on his collarbone.

"You look great. Is this a new thing?"

She was wearing a navy romper with cold shoulders and a short that left her pale legs out. The fabric was covered in white, pink and green exotic flowers and it was soft between his fingers. He was certain that he never saw it before because he would have remembered it for the sole reason that it made her ass look great. Not that he was constantly checking her ass out, but he knew when to look at it when it was in certain pairs of jeans. Now that he thought of it, it was seriously awkward to admit that he was checking her bum out. _Moving on._

"Yeah, I bought it yesterday just for the party."

"It's a great one. You should wear it often."

"Are you telling me that I'm pretty?"

"Possibly," he blushed.

"Oh. Okay. Well you look great too."

Tom chased the awkwardness with a stifle laugh. And then, he closed his eyes, because he wanted to enjoy the moment in its entirety. It wasn't the first time that he would dance with Jo but it definitely was the first time that he kind of slow danced with her. It wasn't even really a slow dance because it would imply a slow song and it definitely wasn't grinding as well. But it may have been the hottest thing they ever did together. She smelled like her usual self, that flowery perfume that he loved because it was hers and when he'd smell it it'd mean that she was with him, and the smell of her conditioner was something he grew fond of too. But tonight, a new smell was getting mixed in and when he reopened his eyes, he instantly understood where it came from. Her milky skin was covered in tiny golden sparkles, making her look like her own little galaxy. Her skin was soft, too. Way softer than what he remembered. Her hair too was exceptionally soft. Was it always that soft or was it because he was drunk off of his ass? And her hips, as well.. when did they become so attractive? Had Tom missed out on a thing or two because he never thought of Jo as anything else than his best friend or did she instantly become super hot? Did the alcohol just open his eyes and did it make everything blurry to the point that he considered that kissing her wouldn't be that much of an incident? Maybe he just noticed and thought about it because they were getting closer and closer, too. Tom didn't know. He wasn't that drunk but the way they were dancing definitely didn't help to make him feel sober. His heart was racing like an idiot and his hands were getting clammy like a moron. And because they both had had a bit too much to drink, they didn't notice that in their dancing, they had gotten further away from the house and closer to the brand new swimming pool that Harrison had in his backyard. Before they knew it, they were tripping on the edge of the pool and tumbling in the water. It was really cold for an evening of August and Tom got to the surface quicker than Jo, quick enough to realise that she wasn't coming back to the surface and that he had to drag her drunken ass out of the water.

When they both emerged of the swimming pool, they were shivering and laughing their asses off. The tension was off. They were back to Tom and Jo, the silly kids of the block who met in a park because her big brother forgot to pick her up after primary school.

"I think it's time for you to go to bed, O'," he smiled, taking her by the shoulders.

"Dude, I'm so tired. Put me to bed, please, I can't feel my legs.." she growled.

"Fine, but you owe me some breakfast," he warned her.

"Deal. Just help your girl out before I pass out on the floor."

"You're the worst drama queen I've ever met," he chuckled. "C'mon, hop on!" he crouched down so she could climb on his back for a piggyback ride.

Securing herself with her arms around his neck, she yawned and put her face on his shoulder. Tom laughed again and walked her to Harrison's bedroom that he knew was locked and that he knew where the key of was hidden. Managing to unlock the door with only one hand as the other was taken to make sure Jo wouldn't slip from his grip, he entered and snickered when they passed the floor-length mirror. Jo was asleep on his shoulder.

With a gentleness that he knew himself to have only with Jo, he dropped her on Harrison's bed and covered her with his blankets. Kneeling down in front of the bed, he took a second to slip the hair tie that he knew was around her left wrist to tie her hair in a weird looking bun Harrison had shown him how to do with his little sister a few years back. Not that he was sure that she would be able to sleep comfortably, he went back to the party, locking the door behind him and told everyone that it was time to call it quits, as it was almost 3 a.m. The guests all agreed, wishing him a nice night as Harrison was already asleep on the couch. Grabbing two glasses in the kitchen cabinets, he filled them both with water and left one on the coffee table for Harrison, that he coupled with an Advil that he had found in the bathroom. He took the remaining glass of water to Jo, unlocking the door to Harrison's bedroom and letting it on his bedside table with another Advil. He considered the possibility of sleeping with Jo in Harrison's bed but quickly decided that it wasn't the right idea so instead, he went to Charlotte's bedroom, Harrison's little sister, and slept in her bed. He knew she wouldn't be mad at him and made a mental note to change her bedsheets afterward. They would have a serious clean up to do the following morning, as the Osterfields were coming back from two days at the grandparents' place. Tom looked at the ceiling for an hour, not quite sure that he knew what to think about Jo. The whole night, she had been the perfect social bee, flying from group to the other, clad in her romper and her white sneakers. She was all length, for once, when he was used to see her as tiny and almost fragile. But that night, with her long hair and her long legs, she definitely made a couple of guys do a double check on her to assure that it really was her, that it was Jo. Tom was one of those guys. Could this possible that he was attracted to her? Tom had never thought of Jo as anything but his friend, though that night he had thought, in his drunken blur, about kissing her and maybe more, when he had his hips between his hands and her ass so close to him. And yeah, he had sometimes thought that she had a nice ass but during the party, he almost had to slap himself several times to stop ogling it.

Something was wrong.

Tom wasn't so sure that Tom and Jo, that Jo and Tom, that the inseparable kids who loved to drink tea and do backflips together and play videogames and laugh and tickle each other, were still the only way that they could be. Maybe Tom started now to envision a future where Tom and Jo shared a little more than just friendly memories.


	5. Clueless

Jo couldn't deny that college was a lot harder than she thought. Studying management meant handing over files of ten pages minimum and, mostly, about economics or just event planning. She started studying early October and although Tom had been helping the best he could by providing her contacts to seek help from on her papers and to share their experiences with, he had to be kind of everywhere to prepare for his big Marvel movie. They spent the holidays together, celebrating New Year's Eve with cocktails and shots, ending up so drunk that they woke up on the floor of Tom's living room. Harrison was taking the whole bed in Tom's room and Tom and Jo had somehow squeezed themselves onto barely two square meters. There was enough room for them to crash onto a bed. Paddy and the twins had been celebrating the New Year with their parents at their grandparents' place and their bedrooms were empty. They could have used their beds but they had no recollection of even sitting by the fireplace or to fall asleep there for all that mattered. That was the first time that they'd wake up tangled and legs onto each other's. It was also the first time that Tom had cuddled someone to sleep that wasn't Tessa. They were both so hangover when they woke up that they decided to forget what happened altogether and to never mention it again. Harrison was still asleep when they untangled themselves and they pretended that she had slept on the couch and he had slept on the carpet when really, they had slept by the fireplace on the hard floor. When Jo finally got up from the couch after she fell asleep for the second time, Tom was cooking breakfast in the kitchen and her head was pounding like crazy. The mere smell of pancakes made her want to throw up and she moaned while Tom scoffed a little. He wasn't feeling any better, to be completely honest, which is why he opened up an arm for her to sneak closer to him. They both felt gross as hell but to cuddle like that made them feel a little bit better. Maybe they thought that after the awkward morning they just had, they couldn't bother anymore about proximity. Resting her head on his collarbone, she mumbled about how he was to never let her drink again, to which he answered that sobriety was "a key". She called him DJ Khaled, he laughed a little and then he got his arm off of her shoulders to flip his pancake over. Then he took a closer look at her and choke down on a giggle.

"You look like a little panda," he smiled.

"Don't laugh at me, it's rude, Thomas," she moaned.

"Here, let me take care of that O'," he breathed out.

With extreme care and gentleness, he ran his thumbs underneath her eyelids to wipe the black flakes of mascara and the runny eyeliner that made her look more exhausted than she really was. Sighing in content, she turned putty into his hands, letting him in charge. His thumbs weren't soft, his skin had broken in various places and it was getting rough and a bit scratchy but still, she wouldn't have traded the tingles in the back of her skull for the world. He was so sweet that morning that she wondered if maybe his feelings towards her had changed. And that stupid nickname that he had for her. "O". That was so dumb and still, she loved it (though she'd never admit it, for she had always fought the guys on the fact that she was to be called "Jo" at all times) as it was his. It made her sound more delicate than "Jo". She was his "O" and for the first time ever, she surprised herself to finally accept her first name for what it was, even though she'd hate it when it'd come to any other mouth than his. Tom never dared to pronounce it, though. It happened once, by accident and she hit him so hard that he swore to never do it again. It had calmed Harrison down as well.

"Here you go. You look like yourself again," Tom smiled.

"Thanks Tommy. ... I'm so tired," she whined, crashing onto his chest once more, making him laugh and wrap her into his left arm while he was flipping pancakes with his right.

"Well look at those two lovebirds, this morning," Harrison exclaimed, making them wince with the noise level he was making.

"Jesus, stop yelling," Jo cringed.

"You stop being that cute and we'll talk later," Harrison joked, kissing her temples as she was still glued to Tom's side.

Since that morning, both the boys would be more gentle with Jo. They'd accept hugs more easily and they'd ask for them, sometimes. Tom would start lending her clothes more easily too, whenever she'd crash at his place and he even started stealing hers, which could be weird if only he wasn't rocking her jackets and scarves. By the end of March, the three of them had taken their friendship to another level, being closer than ever. Some people suspected that something weird could be happening between the three of them but as long as they knew that nothing was going on and as long as their families didn't think anything of it, all was good in the world.

Jo wasn't studying to become an economic guru, she just wanted to manage people, artists preferably. Band management would be perfect and that was the ultimate dream but if she ended up working in the movie industry, than at least she'll be content knowing that she was helping Tom in a (very) distant way. That's why at the first occasion she found, she accepted Tom's invitation to visit the Spider-Man Homecoming's sets in New York and Atlanta. She took the first plane she could at the end of June, took a sleeping pill to knock herself out on the way there so she wouldn't feel the jetlag and then made her way into Hartsfield-Jackson, knowing someone was there to pick her up. With no surprise, she met a blonde dude there, holding a cardboard saying "JO-KING" and she quickly hugged Harrison before they made their way to the baggage retrieval area.

"How is he?"

"Tom?"

"Nah, your dad," Jo rolled her eyes to the sky. "Yes, Tom. I've barely got any news since the filming started."

"He's fine. Tired but fine."

"They wear him down, don't they?" she grimaced.

"Well, he _is_ the lead of the movie so he doesn't get days off and for the first time ever, he's understanding what being a lead is," Harrison laughed. "And that dumbass keeps on going to bed at past midnight when morning calls are at 5 a.m."

"Jeez, it was time for me to step up," Jo declared.

"Dude, you have no idea!!"

Harrison helped her with her dusty pink suitcase and noticed, for himself, that he never really thought of Jo as a girly girl. She was always messing with them, she rarely put on dresses and whenever she'd wear a pair of shorts, she'd pair them with sneakers. For as long as he knew her, he never really noticed her wearing high heels, for the exception of her black low boots that she wore every fall, until the ground would get slippery with patches of black ice. Since the boys weren't there as much as they used to be during winters now, she wouldn't dare wear them at all. Who was supposed to catch her now?

To see Jo dragging a pink suitcase felt like a reminder that one of his best friend was indeed a very girly girl. But the fact that she never really acted like a girl for the exception of her makeup and nail polish was a bit unnerving to him. Then again, Jo was a complex character that took him years to get used to and every day brought a new mystery for him to untangle about her.

"Are we going to an hotel or something?" Jo asked. "Because I could use a shower. I feel gross."

"Yeah, planes do that to you," Harrison joked. "No, we're going to the cast's house. We're all living in the same place. Everybody has their room."

"Oh.."

"And before you ask, you're crashing with whoever you want. Though I wouldn't dare crashing with Jacob because he snores."

"Okay, thanks for the advice," she giggled.

"You're welcome to crash with me, though!" he exclaimed, rolling her suitcase to a black car.

"Why not?"

After _that_ morning six months ago, she hadn't really thought about sleeping next to Tom ever again. If her feelings had never really died down, they got dialled down a little. She wouldn't pine after him anymore but she acknowledged that the idea of spending time with him wasn't as weird as it could have been before. They were so close now, it wouldn't be that much of a deal.

"I'm kidding, you know that?" Harrison frowned. "I know you wanna crash with Tom. It's alright."

"What the heck are you talking about Harrison?"

"Jesus Christ, Jo, do you really think I'm that dense? I've known you for six years and I've seen you look at him like he's the eighth wonder of the world for six years. Seriously, you might be fooling him but you're not fooling me," he smiled.

"How.. How did you..?!"

"Oh c'mon Jo, I may be a dumbass but I'm not blind. The way you look for him when he's away from you is furiously nauseating. It's like you're lost without him. And you let him do whatever without even getting mad. If I were to call you 'O', you'd kill me instantly with your angry eyes of torture!"

"My what?!" she suddenly scoffed.

"Don't pretend like you don't know you're making your angry eyes of torture whenever we do crap! ... Seriously, it's scaring the both of us every time. When Tom speaks about it, I know you scarred him for another year of his life, it's like you're gonna blast us with a secret weapon you have behind your eyes."

"Oh my God," she laughed. "You guys are seriously deranged!"

"Yeah sure, change the subject from your fat ass crush on our best friend!"

"I don't have a 'fat ass crush' on Tom."

"And my grandma still rides a bike!"

"Seriously Harrison, I don't!!"

"And I'm telling you, you guys are nauseating and you should stop looking at each other with googly eyes and just date already."

"So now I have googly eyes? I thought I had the eyes of the tiger or whatever.."

"Jesus Christ, woman! Why are you so damn infuriating? C'mon hop on the car so I can drive your gross ass to the closest shower around!"

"I hate you, Harrison."

"Wrong. You love me. Just not in the same way you do Tom."

"See, I really hate you when you say stuff like that."

The drive back to the compound Marvel had rented for the cast had been silent for the first ten minutes. The air inside the car was filled with awkward tension and Harrison hated that at least as much as Jo did. So when she turned on her seat to face him, all he could do was sigh a little in relief that this torture was going to end, hopefully.

"Does Tom know?"

"No, he doesn't," Harrison swore. "I'm the only one who knows. With maybe your brother. And possibly your Tom's and your mum."

"Shut up!"

"We may have been betting on when you're gonna end up together, the four of us," he grimaced.

"Oh my God, you're unbelievable," Jo whined. "I can't believe I'm talking to you about this."

"It was bound to happen, though.. I mean, you've kept it to yourself for so long, I'm surprised Tom never found out but also.. he does is dense sometimes. Remember his girlfriend? Jeez, she was a pain."

"She was the worst," Jo confirmed. "I can't believe he dated her. I don't even understand why and how that happened."

"Because Tom's stupid when it comes to love."

"Okay, true."

"But seriously, don't panic. I've kept it to somewhat myself for so long, it's not about to change. He won't get it from me, I promise."

"Thanks Harrison."

"Jo, I'll always have your back and you know that. You're my second sister, I'd never do that to you."

Crushing his cheek with a loud kiss, Jo thanked him for his abilities to keep secrets. He definitely was more skilled with that than Tom.

Needless to say that meeting the cast of the movie had been a very messy but hilarious experience. Jacob was the best addition to their group and his bear hugs were amazing. Jo loved the fact that she got to hang out with girls for a few weeks, Zendaya slayed her countlessly but they respected each other immensely. There was no denying of Zendaya's career and Jo was admiring it. She kept her head on her shoulders, she knew where she wanted to go and how to access it, but still, she was lovely and friendly and completely welcoming. It was a bit intimidating but after a few days, Jo opened up completely to her and it felt like they knew each other for more than a couple of days. Zendaya, on her side, couldn't deny the impact that Jo had had on Tom and their friendship was so sweet to watch that she wouldn't dare meddling with it. Meeting Robert Downey Jr. proved to be another huge step in Jo's life, as she started to stutter before the actor crushed her in a bear hug and declared that "he liked that one". After that, whenever they'd cross path, they share a secret handshake and Robert would mess with her hair like she was his niece or whatever. Jo loved RDJ. She loved that RDJ asked for her number and couldn't stop sending her memes of Tom. She loved that she bonded with him and couldn't stop gushing about Chris Evans with him (until he put him on the phone, declared to Jo that somebody wanted to talk to her and there she was, facetiming with Captain America, almost crying like a dumbass and blabbering about how cool he was and how impressed she was with his political statements). RDJ was the bomb and Jo suddenly felt like she was the bomb too.

The fact that Jo and Tom would walk on set together, arms linked, playing the dumb game of crossing their feet at each step was a delight to watch (and to listen to, Tom had never laughed as much as he did than when Jo was on set with him). He also let her sit on his satchel and would sometimes find her napping on set so he'd make her a pillow with his hoodie. Sometimes, they'd find Tom lifting Jo in the air so she could climb on whatever piece of the set they were using that day. She wasn't very athletic but her shenanigans with Tom developed a serious strength in her upper body, which led her to accept the training that Tom's trainers proposed her. After that, Zendaya came with her to go training shopping (she insisted on paying for everything because she usually wouldn't pay for shit when it came to clothing and it was a nice change) and when Tom found her boxing in her sports bra and black leggings with mesh on the sides, the sound of his gulp had been so loud that Harrison hadn't been able to stop laughing at him for days. She was glistening with sweat and also showing her stomach for the first time in forever. Playing rugby/catch/water polo in the swimming pool with Jo in her bikini was so hard because she'd always team up with Jacob and Jacob was a true beast at this game. But also, whenever she'd get the ball, Tom would be so awkward after lifting her to grab it that she'd usually have time to pass to Jacob and then the point was theirs.

Harrison never said anything during Jo's stay in Atlanta with them. He watched Tom drag Jo in whatever crazy stunt he could pull, including making her climb on unstable pieces of set decors and then grabbing her last second before she'd fall. He then observed them laughing together when George, Tom's stunt coordinator, would strap Jo to propel her in the air, Tom then carefully unbuckling her after she laughed her head off, making sure she was okay and then grabbing her by the shoulders so they could walk somewhere else.

He never said anything because he never got the chance to. When Jo left to go back to London, Tom accompanied her to the airport with Harrison and if the blonde was a bit sad to see his best friend go, he didn't compare to Tom who suddenly felt like he didn't have enough of Jo to keep going for another month.

"Can't you stay for a little longer?"

"It's William's birthday in a week, I need to go back, Tom."

"But you could come back after that! Or we could make William come to Atlanta! I'm sure he'd love to meet RDJ!"

"Dude, you'd make him the best birthday gift ever but William has a job now and you know he can't escape that easily. But nice try," she smiled at him.

Tom pouted a little bit more and then opened his arms wide for her to sneak against his chest. When she had wrapped her own arms around his torso, he closed his and squeezed her as hard as he could without hurting her.

"M'gonna miss you O'," he whined.

"M'gonna miss you too, Tommy," she answered, as best as she could as her face was completely squished against his chest. "Be good, okay?"

"The best that I can, as always," he promised before he planted a kiss on her forehead. "Now go before I start crying like a weak ass."

Harrison couldn't stop laughing, once again. He knew Tom was somewhat kidding but in a way, he suspected that the joke wasn't that funny at all.

When Tom came back on set, Harrison hadn't found the right time nor the right words to talk about Jo with him but RDJ did it for him when he found them and exclaimed "Tom, where did you put that girlfriend of yours? I have something to show her!" and Tom didn't dare nor bother contradicting him.


	6. One Day

The day before she took the plane again, Jo felt like a truck was going to run her over. Her entire body was sore; the results of her latest gym sessions with a friend now that they had promised themselves that they were going to live their lives way more healthily. She was tired by her week of finals and she had spent her evenings packing her suitcase and/or going back over her notes for the future exams that she still had to take. After the filming of _Spider-Man: Homecoming_ , Jo had kept contact with Tom's castmates, particularly Zendaya and Jacob. When the young woman came for a few days in London, she spent some time with Jo and they went to tea dates between two classes for Jo. They talked about Tom, of course, because the actress had sensed that something unclear was going on between the two of her friends. Jo didn't last long denying what was going on, before Zendaya cocked her head and raised an eyebrow, silently calling her on her bullshit. Jo ended up by sheepishly confirming that indeed, she may have had feelings for Tom for a few years. After that, Zendaya had declared herself "captain of this ship" and was trying her best to be Jo's best wing-woman.

Jo had ten minutes to finish her essay and she couldn't focus on it any more. Her mind was thousands of miles away, in Los Angeles, where Tom was waiting for her and where he'd been promoting his movie for the past two weeks. They had barely seen each other since she came back from the shooting. Tom had been filming, promoting, auditioning and whenever he'd be in London, she'd be busy with her classes. Sometimes, he came to her college's buildings to pick her up after a class or for lunch. He'd generally wait in his car but some days, when it'd be a surprise, he'd ask several secretaries for her schedule and the number and location of her classroom so he'd be here waiting for her when she'd exit the room. Several times, she'd found him sitting in the halls waiting for her and several times, her heart stopped a little, seeing him nose deep into his phone patiently waiting. He was there for her, there was no other reason why he'd be here and every time, she felt a little bit smug to know that he cared enough to endure the waiting, for her. He'd generally take her to a pub to eat some fish'n'chips or they'd go to McDonald's and pretend they weren't eating fast food. Once, he took her to a real damn restaurant and she was so confused that she barely talked the whole lunch through. Tom decided that he wouldn't do that again, because it wasn't for them. They were used to eat on the couch and put food everywhere. They were used to laugh at each other because some crumb had been caught in Jo's hair or because Tom had ketchup on his face. They weren't meant for high gastronomy, apparently. After that, Tom would drive her back to college, kiss her forehead and repeat the same thing over and over: "Study well, be good" and Jo would answer "Only my best for you, Tom" to which they'd giggle over. It was their way of being sweet to each other but not really acknowledging it. And though those visits were happening a lot, like once a week, they barely lasted over an hour, leaving them with the worst feeling of not having had enough of each other. Tom hated that feeling. Like Jo would charge in him some kind of battery and their weekly encounters would only charge him to 30% before he'd be in critical condition again. Sometimes, he found himself looking for her, to his right, like she always used to be, except that she wasn't and every time, he felt that weird tug in his chest, like somebody or something was drawing onto a string that was linked to something inside of him. Tom was so lost that he didn't really acknowledge the fact that his movie was soon to be released, nor that Harrison was hinting so hard to his feelings towards Jo that he'd run out of ideas to make him talk about it.

When he took the plane back to L.A., Jo was in class and they hadn't seen each other for the past two or three weeks. They wouldn't see each other for another two weeks before she'd be able to finally join him in Hollywood and he wasn't sure he was ready for that. Five weeks might have been the longest they'd ever gone without seeing each other and with Jo passing exams after exams, she was too busy to even text him. The only times he'd actually get an answer was when she'd go to bed after cramming like an idiot and wouldn't have passed out already on her notes. She would only answer though and she wouldn't send the first text but that was fine with him. He knew how much work it took for her to study, he'd seen it with his own eyes and so it wasn't that much of a big deal to him.

Fast forward to that day, ten minutes before Jo would hand her paper in. She was sweating at that point, sure that she was going to hand over a piece of crap. Her mind was blank and she was so tired.. Added to that the freaking bruises and soreness that she gained from her workout the day before and really, she felt more awful that anything. All she could think about was Tom. Tom who promised he'd be there at the airport. Tom who was waiting for her and who would take her as she was, so she didn't even need to worry about how she looked like. She couldn't wait to go back to Tom. Tom was her safe place, her home. He was everything and taking all the space in her mind. Frustrated, she ended up her essay the best she could, putting the last period at the end of her last sentence with enough force that she made an indent in the wooden table underneath the paper. Taking the last minutes to tidy everything up, she stood up after the professor told them the time was up and turned her paper in while everybody was gathering their mess. Taking her pink suitcase by the door, she made it roll in the halls and tried to tune out the rest of the world. She had hers to go back to.

She walked to the first tube station she could find and made her way to the airport, making a stop at Picadillus to make sure she was on the right line. When she made it to the airport, they had already started the check-in and so it made her wait less than an hour to embark on the plane. Before they'd ask all of them to turn their phones off, she quickly rang her father to make sure he knew she was safely into the plane and she'd call him back on WhatsApp when she'd be at LAX. She sighed and for the first time in weeks, enjoyed the fact that she had nothing to do other than chill. So she took her earphones out, plugged them in her old iPod and asked for a pillow when an air hostess passed by. She didn't have to worry about anything else for the next eleven hours. Actually, all she had to do was watch a movie, listen to some music and catch up on her sleep that she had lost during her cramming last few weeks. Best part of it all was that she was free to do all of this in the best conditions possible, as Tom had upgraded her to a first-class ticket so she had her own little cubicle to be left alone in.

When she set foot in the airport, she felt so gross that all she wanted to do was crawl into a hole. Her hair was dirty (she forgot to wash it the day before), she had sweated a bunch in her sleep, her makeup was smudged and flakes of mascara was peppering her cheekbones. Also, she was wearing one of Tom's jumpers, a pair of leggings and some Vans shoes that Harrison had given her as a hand down when they got too little for his big feet, so she definitely wasn't looking her best. Taking a minute in the hall before she had to face anyone else, she quickly tied her hair in a messy bun and tried to arrange her clothes the best that she could but she was still exhausted by her all-nighters and the journey here to be able to do anything properly. Sighing to herself, she remembered the time Tom had to carry her to her mum's car because of how sick she had got and she remembered that he never had judged her for that. In fact, he was the one who sometimes looked dishevelled, in the both of them. But still, it would have been nice to show him that she wasn't just a big hot mess when he wasn't with her.

Standing in the middle of the airport was a nervous looking dude, holding a bunch of flowers in his left hand and his phone in his right. He had earphones in his ears and was somewhat dancing among the people waiting but Jo knew that it was all part of a distracting plan. She had seen him nervous before: when he was waiting for an important call, when he was waiting to audition, when he was waiting to know if he had won or not a BAFTA Award.. But she had never seen him nervous waiting for her. That made her nervous as well.

As soon as Tom saw Jo, his shoulders dropped down a little and his stuck up stance went away, to reveal a much relieved best friend who walked to her with the most stupid look on his face.

"Jesus Christ, Jo," he muttered, crushing her into his arms, crushing her into his chest, crushing her so much that she stopped breathing for a second.

"I know," she answered.

"I missed you so much," he sighed, burying his nose in her hair, smashing his cheek on the top of her head.

"I missed you too," she rubbed her face against his cotton shirt.

"You look awful," he carefully said, concerned, framing her cheeks with his callous hands.

"I know, I know," she cried out.

"Let me fix that for you a little."

As softly as he could, Tom ran his thumbs underneath Jo's eyes to collect the remains of her mascara who had escaped her lashes and he rubbed the corners of her eyes to erase the eyeliner that had smudged. When her eyes were no longer looking like those of a raccoon, he smiled a little and dropped a butterfly kiss on her forehead.

"You've been good?"

"Only the best for you, Tom," she smiled, tears in her eyes.

"Oh Jo," he lamented, taking her back into his arms. "Let's not spend that much time apart anymore, okay?"

Silently, she nodded and let him handle her backpack, that he exchanged against his bouquet of white lilies. He dealt with the tangled earphones of her iPod (jokingly said that he needed to buy her a new freaking iPod because this was the one he had given her years ago, his old one that he had taken to Thailand on the set of _The Impossible_ and the screen was completely scratched by now) and they walked together to the baggage claim to get her pink suitcase out of the circuit and finally get in a taxi, straight to his hotel. As always, she had the choice to crash with Tom or Harrison and as always, the choice had been obvious to all of them. Tom unlocked the door of his suit with his magnetic card and offered her to run a bath while she unpacked a little and called her parents. In ten minutes, top, Tom had run a lavender bubble bath and Jo enjoyed for the next forty minutes, adding hot water whenever the water would get cold. At some point, Tom came into the room, having asked if Jo minded first. Truth is, she did a little but she was entirely covered by bubble and foam and it wouldn't be the first time that Tom entered the bathroom while she was using it. He had a tendency of forgetting she was inside. Not that he ever saw anything, because she'd usually shriek so loud that he'd immediately cover his eyes and then stumble outside. But this time, Jo didn't say anything and let him sit on the floor next to the bathtub.

"Jo.. How have you been since I arrived here?"

"I was okay," Jo muttered while closing her eyes.

"It's not what your mum told my mum..", Tom added.

"Seriously Tom, don't worry, okay?"

"I do worry. You're my best friend, I hate to know you're not fully happy."

"It's just the stress of the exams. I'll be fine after a good night rest and a few days with you", she smiled, getting her hand out of the water to get his.

"Your bath must be scorching hot, your skin is completely red," he observed.

"And your hands need some moisturiser," she laughed.

"Okay, great, thanks for the reminder," he rolled his eyes up.

"I really did miss you, Tommy."

"God, I missed you too, O'."

And just like that, Tom put his head on the side of the bathtub and looked at her best friend soaking in her bath for the next ten minutes, until they both decided they had stared at each other long enough and that maybe, Jo would turn into a prune if she stayed in the water for so long. When Jo emerged from the bathroom, she was wearing a white robe branded with the name of the hotel and Tom was lying on the king size bed. Without a word, Jo slipped next to him and went to snuggle him, because she really had missed everything that made Tom her best friend. His scent was one of those things and that's why she hid her nose in the crook of his neck, wordlessly.

"You okay?"

"I'm better, now," she replied, after she grabbed his arms and put them around her waist.

"We've never done that," Tom remarked. "This is nice."

It really was, indeed. To feel Jo between his arms and to smell the smell of her shampoo, of the lavender bubble soap that he had dropped in her bath, to feel the curve of her waist and the little spaces between her ribs. Even her head, stuck between his armpit and his chest felt like it had always belonged here. In a way, Tom never wanted to move from there, from Jo's embrace, from this bed. But of course, he had made the mistake of giving Harrison the other card of his suit and the blonde barged into the room, making them jump a little.

"Okay lovebirds, it's time for Jo to get dressed up because Tom, day one of the press junket starts in two hours and we have to be there in an hour," Harrison declared.

"Hi, Harrison. It's nice to see you. I missed you too," Jo sassed back.

"Hi Jo, nice to see you too, I've missed you tremendously but deffo not as much as Tom who pined over you day and night. I see you wasted no time to jump on each other, now, can we get moving before the studios get my head on a stick, please?" he replied.

"I hate you, Harrison," she moaned, gripping Tom a little bit harder.

"You can stay here, if you want," Tom offered. "I'll be gone for like four hours. It'll give you some time to nap, if you need anything, just ring the room service and charge it to the room..?"

"It does sound very tempting," she replied, her face still smushed against his chest.

"Then stay here," Tom smiled, kissing her forehead. "I'll be back before you know it. Rest, you earned a nap."

"Great. Now, Tom, go brush your teeth please!" Harrison cried out.

"Fine, Captain Osterfield," Tom saluted.

As soon as Tom was out of sight, Harrison jumped onto the bed and crashed onto Jo, making her shriek and laugh. When he was finally hovering her, he started tickling her through the thick bath robe and made a mess of her dark hair.

"Missed you, silly Jo!"

"I missed you too, Haz," she giggled. "Now stop torturing me and stay put for a second, I need cuddles, I'm tired," she yawned.

"Fine," he replied, lying next to her and letting her drape an arm above his stomach. "I'm not sure Tom's gonna like it when he comes back, though.."

"Why?"

"He's been miserable without you, I wasn't joking when I said he was pining for you. I'm surprised he didn't kiss you at the airport."

"How do you know he hasn't?"

"I would know, don't worry. There's no chance you wouldn't be weird as fuck if it had happened."

"You're the worst, Harrison," she answered back, getting closer to him.

"Aww, Harrison, you only wanted me to get ready to steal my cuddles," Tom pouted as he came back.

"Exactly. I forgot to tell you but I'm desperately in love with Jo and it's obviously reciprocated, we were planning our elopement!" Harrison gibed.

"Very funny," Tom crossed his arms on his chest. "You ready, asshole?"

"Sure thing, lover boy," Harrison laughed. "See you, Jo. Rest a lot, we have a party tonight," he announced, kissing her cheek.

"See you in a few hours, O'," Tom whispered, leaning onto the bed and leaving another butterfly kiss on her forehead.

She was already dozing off when Tom closed the door of his suit. It was a good thing the walls were soundproof or Jo would have heard Harrison challenge Tom with a massive "Your fat ass crush on Jo is getting noticeable" to which Tom deflected by punching him in the upper arm and telling him to shut his mouth, with pink cheeks.

The press junkets were fun to assist to but sitting there, in a corner of a room wasn't as much fun as Jo thought it'd be. She wanted to see the backstage of those press events but hearing the journalists ask the same questions dozens of times made it really unbearable at times. At one point, she decided to shadow Tom's manager after Tom explained that she was studying to become a manager and she got greeted with open arms and a definite will to help her get some experience. She would greet the journalists, get their accreditations and run it up on the list she had been given before announcing Tom who it was, letting them then set up in the room. Tom loved seeing her every ten minutes or so, but she more than often didn't stay. Except for one, when Tom got asked if he had tried the Spider-Man iconic kiss. And Tom had. Which Jo didn't know. When the journalist finally left, all she could do was swat Tom's arms with the clipboard she had, laughing at him. Tom knew, that day, that trying it with his ex-girlfriend, who had been nothing but a bitch to Jo was the biggest mistake he'd ever done. Because right now, the only girl he wanted to kiss _à la Spider-Man_ was Jo.

The rehearsing for the _Lip Sync Battle_ had been a fun time. Harrison was stuck with Tom and because Tom wanted Jo to have a real surprise, he had her stay with Zendaya, which was fine for the actress, for it gave her some time to grill her friend about her relationship with Tom.

"I think you're gonna have to make the first step, you know?" Zendaya grimaced.

"For a guy who said he had a bit of a game the other day when asked if he makes the first step, it's a bit sad. Plus, I don't know if he's feeling anything for me, so I might as well just stay his best friend. It's fine by me."

"Dude, you have no idea how miserable he's been without you, haven't you?"

"How could I? Nobody texted me for Christ's sake!"

"Let's just say that the morning before he came to pick you up at the airport was the happiest he'd been since the promo tour started. Suddenly, his eyes were sparkling and he started to laugh again and wholeheartedly might I add! He couldn't wait to have you back, he kept saying stupid stuff like 'Man, I can't wait for Jo to be here' or 'She deserves a break after all her exams'," she imitated the actor. "He really cares and loves you so damn much, you're just too stubborn. Both of you."

When Jo and Tom would meet back after the rehearsals, they were both exhausted. Tom from dancing so much and Jo for overthinking whatever Zendaya would have told her. The last day, she even told the young actress that she wanted to work out instead of watching her rehearse and she eventually did stay at the hotel for the morning to work out, for real. She hated working out, so Harrison knew that something was wrong. Fooling around with Tom was fine, they would sometimes exercise together but on her own? Jo loathed it. She loathed the idea of sweating just to sweat, she hated the idea of exercising just to exercise. She must have had something bothering her, for her to go work out on her own and willingly. When Harrison came back to pick her up, she was still at the hotel's gym and he found her deep in a cardio session. When they left, she was getting to the gym, so she had been there for four hours and she looked awful.

"Jeez Jo, you want to get abs or what?" Harrison tried to joke.

"I could lose a few pounds," Jo admitted.

"Nonsense. You're fine."

"I have blubber on my stomach," Jo grimaced, watching at her reflection in the mirror. "And I've put on so much weight during my cramming sessions, with my stress-eating and seriously, look at that! My ass is huge, my thighs have doubled in size, I look like a freaking joke."

"Jo, what the hell is going on? You've never been self-conscious like that before," Harrison worried. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Jo timidly tried to affirm.

"Oh my God, Jo," Harrison sighed. "You're looking skinnier than before, I know for a fact that you don't stress-eat, William told me you've barely eaten anything during your exams. For all that it's worth, you've lost weight during your finals!"

"But I'm still fat.."

"You're not fat, Jo. You're not even big."

"I'm bigger than the girls Tom should be seen with," Jo finally cried out, letting out a tear roll down her cheek in frustration.

"So this is what it's all about.." Harrison sighed. "You shouldn't even think about that. Tom doesn't care if you're skinny or not. It's not about who's the most model-like. You know that Tom loves you, with every fibre of his body. He loves you because you're his best friend, you're the third part of our trio, you're the one he's been living with for so long and he loves that, he loves that you know who he is and what he likes and what makes him Tom."

"It's just that.. He posted a lot of pictures with Zendaya and with Laura and then, I took a look at his feed and realised that he never had posted a picture of me. He even deleted a picture right after Marvel announced he was Spider-Man.. So I started to think that maybe.. Maybe I wasn't good enough, you know?" her voice broke down, as she was looking at her fingers.

"Okay, I promised to never say that so don't say anything, okay?" Harrison mumbled. "Tom's erased the picture because he didn't want you to get recognised. He wanted you to stay his best friend and to remain his, to remain that little secret that was his and to remain that bubble of fresh air in all the craziness that was becoming his life. He did it right after he got that talk with his dad. Remember? Tom told me all about how his dad said that in all the whirlwind, he had to stick with who he really was, that he had to grab his roots and never let go of them, that some things were meant to stay his but obviously, sometimes, words would get out without him to want to. His dad told him about how he needed to take extra care of what he wanted to protect from all the rest and I guess.. I guess what he wanted to protect more than anything was you. ... Tom has always cared about you, Jo. I think deep down, he's always liked you more than he thought he was. I think deep down, he's been in love with you ever since you came to us because you were lost after William had forgot to pick you up at school."

Needless to say, Jo cried a bunch on Harrison's shoulder, that day.

* * *

Tom was standing backstage in fishnet tights and a black wig, soaked to the bone and teeth chattering but he wouldn't have changed anything for the world. Because there, right above the big box of props and costumes, was Jo, sitting with a white robe and the biggest grin on her face. 

"So, how was I?" Tom asked laughing.

"I've known you for six years now, I didn't think there was anything you could do that'd surprise me anymore but here you go.." Jo smiled, holding out the robe for him to get into.

"Did you like it?"

"Dude, that was insane. The best thing I've ever seen. You totally crush it! You blew Rihanna out of the picture, I'm sure she's shaking from where she is."

"I'm glad you liked it," he smiled. "I would have been so mad at myself if you had hated it!"

"Why?"

"Because you matter the most," he shrugged. "You've always mattered the most, to me."

And maybe that was the adrenaline in his blood or just the high from having performed in front of so many people, but suddenly, Tom couldn't shut his mouth and stop talking for the love of God. Sitting next to her on the box, he crossed his hands on his knees and started telling her all that he had thought ever since he took the plane a month ago.

"I guess you've always been the one who mattered the most to me. And I'm not talking about just your opinion. You're just.."

Tom stopped, unable to find the right words. How was he supposed to let her know that he finally figured it out? That he finally accepted that he wanted more of her, of them, for her and for them? That he ended up realising that the weird things his stomach did whenever he thought of her were butterflies and that he loved the sense of pure calm that she brought him? How was he supposed to let her know that he didn't just like her, but that he loved her?

"I guess, to me, you're everything," he eventually shrugged, picking at his fingernails.

And because he was an actor and had learned that actions sometimes mattered more than words, Tom turned back to Jo, leaned in and left another butterfly kiss on her face. Just lower than her forehead.

Jo could have frozen. She could have blanked out and just looked at him with googly eyes, but all she did was raise her hands to grab his face and bring him in for a deeper kiss, because she had waited a freaking long time for this and there was no way he would get away with his half-assed kiss that he wanted sweet and soft. She wanted more. She needed more. Now that she knew what it felt like, she knew that she was screwed. Her stomach was no longer full of butterflies, in fact, it was the calmest it's ever been next to Tom. Her fingers weren't tingling. Her heart wasn't racing. There was no fireworks as promised in rom-coms. There was just this calm, this silence, just like the rest of the world had disappeared. There was Tom's weird hair from his wig and the taste of the lipstick he was wearing, there was the very light stubble on his jaw and the smell of hairspray. There was the small moan buried in his throat and the sound of his breath whenever they'd move a little. There was his subtly crooked nose against hers and his hands on her cheeks, moving slowly to the back of her neck. His fingers that weren't soft at all, because he really did need some damn moisturiser but that she found exquisite nonetheless.

And then, there was Harrison, laughing hysterically at them and hollering like a maniac, making them jump and back away, growling out lowly about how their best friend was the biggest jerk ever.

"You know, I never thought that you'd be the one putting lipstick all over my face when we'd kiss," Jo joked.

"Very funny, O'," Tom rolled his eyes up.

And that was it. With a simple joke, Jo and Tom knew that they'd be okay. That despite what Harrison thought, they wouldn't be "weird as fuck". That their kiss wasn't a mistake and that they'd still be best friends, even though they'd add another title to their relationship. Jo would still mock him whenever she'd get the chance and Tom would still propel her on his shoulder to throw her into Harrison's pool whenever he could. They'd still take the piss at each other and they'd still laugh together. Tom would still make her do somersaults by holding onto her legs and she'd still watch him dance and listen to him sing whenever he'd let her.

They were still Tom and Jo. They were just better, now.


	7. Definitely, maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was long overdue!! Sorry for this long delay, I've had trouble making it as perfect as I wanted this last chapter to be. I admit, I've also had a massive blank page syndrom when it came to giving this story the ending it deserved. But then, if you follow Mr. Holland's actuality, you've probably seen the bit of drama he's found himself into a couple of weeks ago. I'm not gonna lie, I was crushed to see his private life splattered all over the Internet and it gave me this idea. I hope you're gonna like this last chapter.
> 
> You can find me on Twitter, I'm @FlickeringWords. I really enjoy discussing about everything and anything, so if you're up to talking, don't hesitate! Also, English isn't my first language so don't feel bad for correcting my mistakes, I'm sure there's some left that I've missed, even with all my editing!
> 
> Enjoy!  
> Lots of love,  
> Navy Xx

Jo opened her handbag and poured its content on the floor. Where the hell was her damn cell phone when she needed it? The fact that her hands were shaking wasn’t the best either and her nerves had been dialled to an eleven. There she was, sitting on the floor of an H&M store, looking frantically for her phone, trying to stay hidden underneath a rack of jeans. Sighing, she realised that this was the craziest her life had become in the past few months. Sure, she had had weird experiences before but this? This was the worst. And the Christmas playlist that kept playing in the background wasn’t helping at all. She couldn’t stop cringing at every cover of _All I Want For Christmas_ by any wannabe singer that would be played in any store she walked in.

She almost cried in relief when her hands finally made contact with the sleek case of her phone, the bright screen burning instantly her red eyes and making her wince. She had been in this jeans rack for far too long already. Opening the calls app, she clicked on the last called number and waited in silence for the phone to connect her to anyone. She hadn’t been able to see who it was: the leg of black skinny jeans had been in the way.

“Hi?”

“Oh thank God it’s you”, Jo sighed in a brittle voice.

“What’s going on?” he immediately asked.

“You’re gonna laugh”, she croaked out, visibly not amused. “But I’m stuck in a jeans rack at the H&M store on Bond Street and I can’t get out of the store.”

“What do you mean ‘in a jeans rack’?” he snorted.

“You absolutely fucking got what I meant”, she bit back. “Don’t be an asshole, come and help me. There’s too many of them and I’m panicking full mode.”

“You forgot the magic word!” he sang.

“Please”, she sighed.

“And?”

“Oh my God, hurry the fuck up or I swear to God, you’re dead when I see you”, she menaced.

She didn’t even wait for him to answer and locked her phone up, ending the call in the process. Sometimes, she wondered why she even chose to spend time with this dickhead. But she could hear the ruckus outside, mixed with another rendition of _I’ll Be Home For Chritmas_ and it immediately made her want to cry even more. All she wanted was find a Christmas gift for her dad and now she was stuck underneath jeans like a damn toddler. It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. It wasn’t supposed to even happen in the first place. If everything had stayed the way it was, none of this would have happened. Jo wasn’t anxious before, but the last few months had really had a toll on her and on everyone, for all that mattered. When she used to be pretty carefree and spontaneous, now she calculated her every move and barely left her place anymore. She considered, for a quick moment, coming back to her parents’ place, but she loved her own place so much that the thought went away pretty quickly. Everything was there for her to enjoy, but sometimes.. Sometimes the things she loved the most also appeared to be the things she hated the most. The situation was complicated and really, it wasn’t what she had in mind when they said that Life would become magical and every other shit they'd told them. The first year had been awesome, it had been everything that she ever wanted and more. It was so sweet that it was gross, it was warm, it was soft, it was cheesy and everything in between. It also was incredibly hard at times but all in all, it had been perfect and she wouldn’t change a single thing. But a few months ago, everything turned sour and now..

Now she was hiding in a fucking jeans rack.

She lost count of the time after fifteen minutes. The rack was dark and her phone had slipped again between bootleg jeans’ legs. She had stopped listening to the Christmas playlist that just annoyed her more than anything else, so she had no idea how long she had been there. All she had was her asthma inhaler and her keys and she figured that she could at least try to breathe correctly and use her keys as a weapon. Jo didn't have an inhaler a year ago, but that's what many panic attacks had left her with. This whole situation sucked. She was pretty impressed, though, that nobody thought of looking in the rack but she patted herself on the back for choosing the jeans one to dive into. Plus, it was pretty far deep in the store, so she could potentially stay there for hours.

She didn’t know how long she had been there when the jeans on the rack started to move. Jo stopped breathing, turning the inhaler in front of her and her keys between her knucles. She could do this. C’mon Jo. Years of fights with the guys had prepared her for this.

The light had been painfully white when the jeans had been moved back to let appear. She pressed her inhaler, sending a white cloud of product in whoever’s face and thrashed around with her keys before a big hand stopped her arms and the familiar voice soothed her down.

“Jo, it’s me, stop!”

Thank God he was here.

“Oh, William”, she broke down in tears, crashing on his chest and burrying her head in his neck.

“It’s okay, I got you”, he promised. “How long have you been there for?”

“I don’t know”, she sobbed. “They appeared out of nowhere and I started to panic and I couldn’t do anything properly and I did the first thing I had in mind and-”

“Okay, okay, Jo, breathe”, William asked. “You’re gonna be okay, I’m gonna get you out of here.”

Sometimes, Jo hated William. But most of the times, she remembered how blessed she was that her big brother had always been supportive and loving. William helped her out of the rack, let her on the floor for a couple of minutes before he managed to snag the attention of a saleswoman who was tidying shirts. He came back with her five minutes later, letting Jo know that they could escape by the back of the store and William would drive her back home. Soon enough, she found herself in the front seat of his Volkswagen, ready to go back to Kingston and just cry in the peace of her place. The streets were tinkering in fairy lights, flashing golden sparkles in a random order. She loved Christmas but this year, it had been ruined. She hadn’t been able to go shopping properly (every gift she had bought had been displayed on stolen pictures, posted on Internet), she hadn’t been able to drink hot cocoa from her favourite coffee shop, she hadn’t been able to stroll the streets enjoying the Christmas atmosphere.. It didn’t feel like Christmas at all, this year. She didn’t see much of the ride back to her place, though. All of this panic had exhausted her and she was ready to sleep, which she did as William crossed the Thames.

When she opened back her eyes, she was in her bed and she was wearing a too large sweatshirt with no trousers. William must have dropped her and left back to work. He was a nice guy like that, her big brother. Thinking about it, he was the only one who could have saved her back there. His face was still pretty unknown.

Yawning, she grabbed the water bottle she always kept on her bedside table and managed to get out of bed to crash on the couch. The TV was already on and sure enough, Tom was there, channel-surfing and waiting for her. The Christmas tree they had set up together wasn’t even lit up. He hadn’t plugged the fairy lights on; the poor tree looked dull and sad, when it had been such a joy to put it out in the first place. Tom had used baubles to make himself earrings and he had put the star on top of Jo’s head. They both had looked silly, but at least they’d been together. Without a word, she slipped next to him, pushing her legs on top of his as her head went straight for his shoulder and her arms sneaked around his chest. Her eyes were puffy red and if she had dared looking at Tom’s face, she could have seen his were matching. He probably had been hating himself just as much as she had, back in that jeans rack.

“Why didn’t you call me?” he croaked out.

“I called the first number there was on my phone. I couldn’t see anything, it could have been anybody, to be honest”, she explained, her throat sore.

“I’m sorry, O’”, he sniffed out.

“It’s not your fault.”

“Sure feels like so.”

Jo didn’t say anything. When Tom was like that, there was nothing she could do. It broke her heart to see him in that state. He used to be pretty open and sure of himself. Tom had never been full of himself and he was pretty humble, but he had enough self-confidence to live a carefree life and this was something that Jo always liked. But ever since Jo’s name had been published in the news, Tom had been gloomy and sad, feeling like the world had collapsed on him and there was nothing he could do. At first, he had tried to be strong for her. He had tried to make it right, to reassure her. But as weeks went by and as dirt went online, Tom started to get frustrated and angry and sad to make Jo endure this. And then the paparazzi came and they polluted their outings and they made Jo’s life so difficult.. It was heart-breaking to see her pass the door and be this sad over whatever they could have told her to get her to react or over whatever she could have read about herself on the Internet. This is what his dad had tried to warn him about. This is what he wanted to avoid. And it happened anyway.

It came out so quick that neither of them had time to process it. One day they decided to go to a rugby game in London and the day after, they were on the front page of gossip websites. Tom tried to play it cool first, to tell the world that this was his best friend and that she deserved to be left alone. For a few weeks, it had worked. Fans were defending her, telling haters that the brunette was only a friend. But Jo hated it. She hated to be labelled “only a friend”. She had crushed on Tom for so long, she had waited for so long, she didn’t like one bit the fact that their relationship was pushed back to only a “simple” friendship. Tom hadn’t lied. He’d said she was his best friend and she still was. But she was also his girlfriend and she would have liked things to have stayed private, but now that the world knew her face, there was nothing she could do about it. And then, things went berserk when they went on a date and were seen kissing. The world could have exploded, for all they knew. Suddenly, they were pictured on gossip magazines, on the cover, and Tom was asked about her in the streets. He had tried so hard to keep her away from all of this, but guess some of Jo’s friends from college were really interested in easy money and soon enough, here she was, named and exposed on Twitter and Instagram. People weren’t soft with her: she had been called every injure there was in the dictionary, suddenly some private info were dug up, “sources” were quoted left and right from people she didn’t even know and everything was just out. On the first days, it had been deeply disturbing and annoying to see another info being brought up again. Her mum didn’t tell her but she got calls at the family house to ask about their relationship and William was asked about it at work and Tom’s family members were harassed to know more about her. However, the clan was tight and they stuck for each other like they never had before. Sam and Harry kept blocking people trying to slide into their Instagram DMs to ask about Jo, Harrison had stayed pretty silent, Jo’s parents and brother had turned their profiles to private and Tom was still yet to comment on anything. His parents would never say anything so they were safe in a way. Jo changed her phone number, her mail address and came to stay for a couple of nights back to her parents’ place. When things calmed down a little, she had been able to move back to her own flat, which incidentally was also Tom’s.

It could have gone away. She could have been an Internet sensation for two weeks and things could have died down. But somehow, a student who shared some classes with her back in college had gone public saying that she had been friends with Tom for pretty much forever and that she could see her texting him while in class. She also went public with the fact that she had used Tom’s relations to obtain help on certain assignments, that she had shadowed his manager during press junkets and that it wasn’t fair to the other students. Pretty soon, Jo was seen as a leech that used Tom to get where she wanted. It killed her to be thought as someone who never did an effort when she had worked her ass into exhaustion for finals, to study and complete assignments like every other student. Sure, she had more insight and sometimes she had got feedbacks on her paper, but her work was her own and it was unfair to be belittled in that way. Tom was fuming, demanding to know who was the asshole who dared speaking to a journalist like that, but nobody could find the source and soon, Tom got other fishes to fry. His publicist went to him with a NDA, demanding Jo to sign it. Tom had shredded the contract to pieces, threatened to go elsewhere for representation and then hell broke loose. Paparazzi were following Jo, people were looking at her on the streets, she couldn’t go out with Tom anymore, she couldn’t go to Starbucks without being labelled as a classic white Tumblr girl, she couldn’t eat anything without reading that she was thick enough as it is, she couldn’t wear certain clothes because she was being mocked online; all of her was being torn apart and it killed both her and Tom, seeing his girlfriend being treated that way. He was the celebrity out of them two, he was the one who had to preserve his privacy, Jo didn’t have to suffer of this as well. So they retreated. They barely escaped the flat, ordered food as much as possible, took shelter at Harrison’s place when it got too much and got rides from Tuwaine, Tom’s old friend, to go anywhere without being seen. They stayed inside as much as possible, trying to appreciate what they had as much as possible.

The couch was comfortable, at least. He had lit up one of their Christmas candles so it smelled like red berries in the living room and he obviously had made cookies, shaped like Christmas trees and stars. She could see two mugs on the counter of the kitchen from where she was so she guessed he would make her hot cocoa if she asked nicely. The throw cover that Tom had bought when they’d moved in was soft and they loved snuggling underneath it. Which is where they found themselves, after that awful afternoon. Their heads were covered, they had their own little private bubble, a safe place where there were only the two of them. This was the only spot where they truly felt like Tom and Jo, like the best friends they had always been. This is where they spent most of their time, now, whenever they felt down. It was warm, they had each other, sometimes Tessa would join, and in that dim atmosphere, there was only space for cuddles and soft kisses and slow making out sessions and lips on foreheads, fingers on stomachs, feet on calves, hearts on hearts.

“Are you okay?” Tom whispered.

“I am, now”, she answered slowly. “I got scared when the photographers circled the store and they were waiting for me to get out but I couldn’t do it anymore.”

“I’m so sorry, O’”, he apologised again.

“Don’t be. It’s not on you.”

“We can’t do that forever, O’.”

“I know.”

“What should we do?”

“I have no idea”, she sighed, her lips against his collarbone.

She truly didn’t. All she knew was that her brain felt like mashed potatoes and that the Internet seemed to have found a common passion of making a clown out of her. The haters were so numerous that she couldn’t even browse anything in peace.

Sighing again, she snuggled closer to Tom. His hands were still a bit rough, even though he had started listening to her and used hand moisturiser. He even had a tube of it in her purse. He smelled like cookies and a little bit like Tessa too, but she loved the fact that she knew exactly what he was supposed to smell like. The tip of his nose was cold against her temple but his chest was warm and her ear was pressed against it, listening to the quiet thump-thump of his heart. At least, here, there was no anxiety. The world outside was a whirlwind but here, it was quiet. Together, they had quietness.

“Maybe it’s time we told the truth”, Jo offered.

“What do you mean?”

“You never said anything about us. Maybe if we took back the narrative, it’d help.”

“They’d still talk about you, O’.”

“Yeah, but at least, they wouldn’t spread lies anymore”, she shrugged.

“I’m not sure this is what I want.”

“I’m not sure either.”

“Maybe we should just stay here”, Tom offered. “Harrison could drop us food every once in a while. And Tuwaine would bring drinks.”

“We could train Tessa to bring us the remote of the TV.”

“And we wouldn’t have to get dressed everyday”, Tom smiled.

“Oh, really?” Jo laughed.

“Yeah. You could live in that black bra that looks really pretty”, he joked, teeth raking against her shoulder.

“And what would you wear, then?”

“Anything you want.”

“Anything, you say?” she teased, sliding her legs on each side of her hips to straddle him.

“Well, essentially anything”, he grinned. “That thong is out of the question.”

“Damn it”, she groaned, falling back on his chest.

“But if you’re willing to go there, I wouldn’t complain, just so you know”, he teased back.

“Oh so I would have to wear a thong but you wouldn’t?”

“Well, that depends on what you want me to wear, really”, he stated.

“For starters, that shirt has got to go”, she declared, lifting the hem as far as she could before he slipped out of it.

Tom’s hands were rough but his torso was smooth. This was something that Jo hadn’t imagined before they started dating but it was one of her favourite discoveries. That, and the fact that he really, really enjoyed physical contact, whether it was hand holding, finger tracing, cuddling, sitting on lap, kissing.. it seemed like it was never close enough for Tom.

Dropping a kiss right in the middle of his chest, Jo took a moment to enjoy the feeling of his satiny skin beneath her hands.

“Okay, what else, then?”

“Your jeans. They’re too stiff, I don’t like them”, Jo proclaimed.

“Fine.”

The jeans had to go. Jo had seen enough of them for today. When finally he had wiggled out of them, Jo could truly enjoy the warm body she had next to her.

“That’d be only fair if I got to make some changes as well”, Tom claimed.

“Fair enough, indeed.”

“That sweatshirt is nice, I love it, but if we’re to live underneath this blanket for the rest of times, it’s gonna get too warm and uncomfortable, you know what I mean?”

“Oh yeah, totally”, Jo nodded. “It’d be a shame, really, to not be at ease when we’re gonna spend our lives here..”

“See, that’s what I meant when I said that black bra was everything you needed”, Tom murmured as he had finished getting her off of his sweatshirt. “You should live in this and only this, forever.”

Jo’s giggles were a nice sound. Tom had always loved them, now that he’d had time to think about it. There was something about the way her eyes would crinkle on the sides and her cheeks would rise that made him love her even more. Tom pushed a hand through her mane of hair that always got in the way. When he was sure that her face was free, he dropped loud kisses all over it, making her laugh even more.

Jo had feared that intimacy with Tom would get weird. After seeing themselves grow through puberty, she wasn’t sure they’d truly enjoy being together without feeling awkward. And maybe the first couple of times they’d seen each other naked had been odd, maybe their first night together had been a lot of “Ahem, maybe, just, I don’t know”s and “Are you sure?”s and an awful lot of squirming around, but there was nothing that they’d enjoy more than coming back home to each other at the end of the day.

“So what are we gonna do?” Jo whispered.

“About the press? Not a clue for the moment. Right now? I plan on nibbling on your hips until there’s no more and you’ll have to stay home with me feeding you so you’ll grow them back and I’ll nibble on them all over again”, Tom grinned, his hands sliding from her sides down to her butt where they comfortably rested on, playing with the hem of her underwear.

“You’re the worst, Tommy”, she giggled again.

Maybe he was. Did he care about it? Abso-fucking-ly not. He loved Jo. He loved her so much that he was sure she was The One. He had talked about it with his brothers already, all of them agreed that their chemistry was amazing and that both of them were unbreakable. With all the crap that happened to them recently, they could have fought and questioned everything. But there was one thing they were sure of and it was the big “us” that they had formed. They never once got into a fight about it. Truth be told, they fought a lot, about silly things, like the shampoo bottle that Tom constantly left open and the fact that Jo was the worst when it came to put back the cereal box in the cupboard. They fought about TV programs and music to listen to and who took the most of the blanket during the night. They bickered like an old couple already and it would have been disastrous if any of their fights were actually serious. However, they actually listened to each other and made equal efforts. Tom would put the cereals back to their place, Jo would close the shampoo bottle. Tom would watch Love Island while Jo would watch a movie on Netflix on his iPad, noise-cancelling headphones on her ears so she could still snuggle with him. They’d figure that the blanket-sharing wasn’t a problem anymore when they slept on top of each other. They’d laugh about the fight in the end, instead of resenting the other. Tom would still push Jo in Harrison’s swimming pool. Jo would still slap his arm or his chest whenever he’d annoy her. They were still Tom and Jo, the best friends that all of their loved ones had always known. Except now, Tom would make grabby hands at her when she’d walk near him, making sure he’d circle her waist with his arms to make her plop down on his lap. Jo would puck her lips out, waiting to collect Tom’s kiss, like a weirdo. But they still were each other’s best friends, and that’s all that really mattered.

“At least, they’ll never find us here”, Jo pointed out.

“It’s such a wonder that they never figured your name out, though”, Tom wondered.

“I like my secrets well-guarded”, she replied.

“Well, that’s the one I’ll guard with my own life if I had to”, Tom promised.

“You’d better”, she threatened him.

“You know, I really love your name, O’”, Tom stated. “I love it way more than Jo. Jo makes you sound like you’re a tomboy.”

“I kinda am one, though. I only hang out with you guys.”

“Yeah but why on Earth did you think that mixing the first letters of your first name and last name was a good idea?”

“Well, I hated my name ever since one of William’s friends from primary school spat it in my face like I was a disease.”

“That guy was a dick”, Tom recalled. “He didn’t like girls, that’s why he was at our school. It wasn’t you the problem, it was him. And truth be told, your name has a delicate ring. Like a pretty flower.”

“You’re the only one who make it sound okay.”

“I make it sound lovely”, Tom scoffed.

“You do”, she sweetly smiled, kissing him.

“I love you Ophelia Jones”, Tom whispered.

“I love you too, Tommy”, Ophelia echoed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm constantly trying to perfect my writing and my stories so any feedback is MASSIVELY appreciated! What was your favourite part? What did you like the least? Are you satisfied with that end? Would you like more chapters? I'm interested in anything you'd have to say! Xx


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